Happy birthday Bae!!!

Happy birthday to one of the most amazing-beautiful-lovely human being on this planet… banryeo!!! Bae, I have nothing for you but my gratitude, love and a story about how you were one of the people who helped me to live…

Anyway, I don’t usually give testimonies about my personal life, but I feel like I need to thank you. I have anxiety! I was diagnosed in 2012 and since then I’ve been trying to cope with it. My doctor says that I always had anxiety, but I’m still trying to cope with it. To live with it. It’s really hard to be close to me.. it’s pretty exhausting, actually, but what I’m trying to say that despite all of this, a year later I was starting to become a member of the TW fandom and after that the Sterek fandom. I was introduced to this amazing fandom, by the lovely sinyhale and after that I discovered a lot of amazing people that have done incredible things here. You, my darling, are one of them. I am grateful for what I have, and I am especially grateful for you!! Because, sometimes it’s too much to cope with. And most of the time, my mind is the worst place to be trapped and I wished I could turn it off, but I can’t. I feel hollow. I feel sad and of course, I feel anxious. So yes, my bedroom, my books, my computer are my only refuges. Sad? Perharps….

I’m not going to lie and say that I’m not happy. That everything sucks, because I am happy and not everything sucks. There’s still reasons I feel happy. Small ones, but still. Like, all these amazing fanarts out there… the fanfics… the people behind it. They make me happy! You make me happy! Your art, your personality, you… You give me strenght to keep going every single day. Just by being you!! We may not know each other, we may not be the best of friends, but I’m grateful for what you’ve done for me. 

So, what I was trying to say is that I hope you had an amazing birthday. That the years may come and bring all the good things for you, because you deserve it! And I’m pretty sure I only vented (and I’m sorry for that), but know that I have nothing for you but my gratitude, love and this story.

Much love, Mary Xxxx